Three kinds of problems

February 24, 2010

The Practical Problem:  Construction ahead has you stalled on the interstate.  You have the most important presentation of your career scheduled at 10 am. The Emotional Problem:  Your thoughts begin a spiral.  “I should have left earlier”, “Come on, come on” (pounding the steering wheel), “Stupid government/contractors/cars”,  “I’ll never make it”. The Imagined Problem:  Spinning [...]

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Thoughts In Disguise

February 7, 2010

I talk a lot about thoughts.  The fact that thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors.  Where thoughts come from.  Our belief that our thoughts must be correct because we’ve had them so long, how to recognize if thoughts are rational and  much, much more. When we become aware, or conscious, of our thoughts they are [...]

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No Phone Zone

January 29, 2010

I have just joined (and am encouraging others to join) the No Phone Zone. You can guess what it is. Over 60,000 have signed up so far – pledging to make their car a No Phone Zone by not texting or talking on cell phone while driving. Great idea right? Who could argue with it? [...]

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Reacting to trauma

January 24, 2010

In the past weeks I have been called upon to provide critical incident stress debriefing (CISD) to Haitian staff members at a local hospital.  Trained and experienced in crisis intervention for over 10 years I’ve encountered all types of critical incidents.  So, aware of the most current developments a week after the earthquake in Port [...]

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Write – Rewrite

January 8, 2010

Most folks have heard me say “there’s no such thing as a history eraser.”  Conceptually, we get it…we know we can’t rewrite the past.  So why do we get stuck in it, keep thinking about it, saying such things as “I shouldn’t have”, “You shouldn’t have”, and “if only?”  Intellectually we know we can’t change [...]

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I’ve changed my mind

November 22, 2009

Consider “changing your mind” to mean a different way of thinking.  Learning a new pattern of thinking that will change your “automatic” thoughts in any situation you find yourself.  Automatic thoughts are the ones that appear without our even “thinking” about them  They’re just there, and they “tell” us what another person means by a [...]

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When commitment isn’t enough

November 16, 2009

Keeping the romantic, idealized images of falling in love alive while undergoing the realities that have been brought about by time, is a sobering task for even the most committed couples.  Time, children, losses (interest, vitality, excitement) and sameness.  Good people in good relationships find themselves experiencing similar symptoms.  Symptoms that send nagging questions to [...]

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The importance of Rational Thinking

November 6, 2009

Staying rational in an irrational environment challenges our cognitive resources regularly.  But it is only by thinking rationally that we make decisions that don’t persist in haunting us.  Haunting us with unintentional thoughts…the ones that annoyingly keep hanging around up there. A friend of mine relayed the following:  She saw an email sent from one [...]

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Had any good stress lately?

October 23, 2009

Usually viewed as a “bad” thing, stress can be “good”.  It is important to understand exactly what stress is.  Holmes and Rahe (1967) defined stress as the body‘s adaptation to change.  .In other words, the more that we have to adapt to a life event the more our bodies experience stress. They (Holmes & Rahe) [...]

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I think I’m having a panic attack!

October 16, 2009

The very words can strike fear in the calmest of souls.  “Attack” sounds like a devilish creeping up from behind – or stepping onto a disguised land mine – or being overtaken by a force stronger than you.  Ask someone who has experienced acute panic and anxiety, and they’ll likely tell you these descriptions are [...]

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